Today's Seven Dwarfs

Unpublished - Today's Seven Dwarfs, by Alan Helvig

Dopey Annan - Kofi couldn't see the writing on the wall if he was strapped to a chair, facing the wall, with his eyes taped open. He is consistently on the wrong side of too many issues. Dopey has once again shown his true colors, as he has sided with the terrorists instead of siding with Israel. Any show of support for Hezbollah on behalf of the U.N. can only embolden them to continue their terrorist activities. Dopey's unsubstantiated accusation that Israel deliberately attacked the U.N. observation post in Lebanon  has caused grave damage to the war on terror. We need a Secretary General who understands that there can be no tolerance for terrorists and no sympathy for those who harbor terrorists.

Doc Chirac - According to the Jerusalem Post, 'German Chancellor Angela Merkel and French President Jacques Chirac discussed the crisis in the Middle East and agreed to consult closely on the next steps to take...' Doc believes 'that the UN Security Council must create the conditions for a lasting cease fire, and that the basis must be a "political agreement between Israel and Lebanon and the full implementation of resolution 1559," which calls for the disarmament of all militias in Lebanon.' Wow Doc! Did you come up with that one all by yourself? Let's sum this one up: Doc's plan calls for procrastination, deliberation and waiting on the U.N. to do the right thing. What else could we possibly expect from the French?

Sleepy Carter - Poor Jimmy.  He was a sleep at the helm during his presidency and he is still sleeping when it comes to today's global issues.  Sleepy wrote this in the Washington Post on August 1, 2006: "It is inarguable that Israel has a right to defend itself against attacks on its citizens, but it is inhumane and counterproductive to punish civilian populations in the illogical hope that somehow they will blame Hamas and Hezbollah for provoking the devastating response. The result instead has been that broad Arab and worldwide support has been rallied for these groups, while condemnation of both Israel and the United States has intensified." First off, Israel is not punishing the civilians in Lebanon. They are returning fire on Hezbollah rocket & artillery launch sites. It is Hezbollah who is using the Lebanese civilians as shields, thus making them targets of retaliatory strikes. The responsibility must be placed on the terrorist organization, Hezbollah, for the civilian deaths in Lebanon. Anything short of this only generates more sympathy for the terrorists. As for Sleepy, he needs to go back to bed and leave the thinking to people who are willing to fight terrorism.

Grumpy Ahmadinejad - Mahmoud's plan of using Hezbollah to draw Israel into another armed conflict has worked. His desire for the world to see Israel as the bad guy is being fulfilled. Grumpy's thirst for the destruction of Israel is being quenched, as global leaders are hammering Israel for defending herself against present and future terrorist attacks. As compassion for Hezbollah increases and as the condemnation of Israel mounts, Grumpy's evil goals are being achieved. If we are not careful, Grumpy will have to change his name to Cheerful.

Happy Nasrallah - Sheik Hassan has achieved his goal of making Israel out to be the aggressor in the eyes of the world. Sympathy for Hezbollah is growing daily, thanks to the words and inactions of many on this page. Happy may be running for his life and hiding out in a supposed safe-house, but he is undoubtedly pleased with how the global consensus is turning against Israel. The only good terrorist is a dead terrorist. Israel needs to find Happy and take him out, just like the U.S. took out that other happy terrorist in Iraq, Al-Zarqawi. Even if it means bombing the Iranian Embassy, Israel needs to turn Happy into a 'good terrorist'.

Bashful Bin-Laden - Osama must be loving this entire situation in Lebanon, while he cowers in his Afghan cave. Bashful is undoubtedly praising Allah for all of the Muslim deaths in Lebanon, as each one generates more sympathy for the terrorists. He gets to hide in his hole, while Hezbollah sacrifices a great number of their members for the sake of turning the world against Israel. As the world leaders condemn Israel's actions, Bashful's grin grows larger and larger.

Sneezy Chavez - Hugo may not care about what is happening in the Middle East, but he has to love what it is doing to the United States. I chose Chavez to be Sneezy because he must be doped up on cocaine to dream up all the allegations he has lobbed at America. One can only hope that he will sneeze the hatred right out of his mind and become an advocate for freedom and a friend of the U.S. Well, what do you expect? This is a fantasy based article.

Comments

[Lou Foxwell]

I love it. Truly, Bagdad Bob needs to be resurrected. He alone understood the use and power of spin.
Kofi reminds me of intellegentsia in most 3rd world countries. To a person they are naive, provincial and marxist. Kofi certainly fits that bill to a T.